Official Plastic Passion Merch

Yes, the merch advertised on this page is genuine, although the idea did indeed start out as a joke.

This is not official Maidstone United merchandise (no shit), but most of it is Maidstone-themed, including our highly poular “Make Mangravet Great Again” selection. Thanks to Redbubble you can get your dickskinners on some top quality blokeswear from our #COYMFS collection, as well as some catwalk quality clobber for our female readers.

In fact, we're so metrosexual on this site, we don't mind if you mix and match. We also sell greeting cards: and why send out a tired, trite card with a desperately unfunny message on it when you could give your friends
one of these motherfuckers?

There are dishwasher proof mugs and handy tote bags you can deploy at the supermarket. Why not try our polite, Daily Mail declining shopping bag? Finally there are the shitnaks. To wit: phone cases. Clocks. Note books. Laptop cases. Cushions. There are even actual duvet covers. What the fuck are you waiting for?

All orders are handled by Redbubble and as they ship from the US, they can take a week to ten days to arrive so please be patient. Redbubble print all their merch on demand, but there are discounts for bulk orders, so if you're after Christmas cards, order early and give your friends a seasonal gift they'll
never forget!